HUMOR
WART 95.5 FM
Mountain Grapevine Radio Program
Fake Product Commercials

The following audio files are 36 made-up product commercials to insert in the Mountain Grapevine Radio programs – rather like the Prairie Home Companion – to add some humor to the program. Since WART is a public broadcasting station, paid commercials were not allowed – but fake product commercials were allowed.

Gary’s Gizmatic Flocultor

_________________________________________________________________________________

Arnie’s Awesome Argyle Socks

_________________________________________________________________________________

Grandma Gerty’s Gravel Cleaner

_________________________________________________________________________________

Winnie’s Winter Insect Repellent

_________________________________________________________________________________

Della’s Duck Wart Soup

_________________________________________________________________________________

Henry Hagle’s Hog Caller

_________________________________________________________________________________

Bubba’s Beer Batter Mix & Bubba’s Bear Grease

_________________________________________________________________________________

Larry Langston’s Practice Leaning Pole

_________________________________________________________________________________

Beaulah’s Bumble Berry Pie

_________________________________________________________________________________

Wanda Wilson’s Wonderful Walnut Wax

_________________________________________________________________________________

Billy Fardshackle’s Bootjack

_________________________________________________________________________________

Crazy Calvin’s Carp Cupcakes

_________________________________________________________________________________

Dink Dollywag’s Dowser Dangler

_________________________________________________________________________________

Tilley Tarbuck’s Treetop Tellies

_________________________________________________________________________________

Orthie’s Outhouse Book Rack

_________________________________________________________________________________

Rufas Tincture for Vapors

_________________________________________________________________________________

Suzie Sutton’s Superstition Suppressant

_________________________________________________________________________________

Sadie’s Old Fashioned Black Drawing Salve

_________________________________________________________________________________

Ina Iverson’s Indoor Smoking Kit

_________________________________________________________________________________

Samuel Stackhouse’s Spit Sack

_________________________________________________________________________________

Hermie’s Hiking Pole Pedometer

_________________________________________________________________________________

Freddy Fubar’s Frog Jumping Training Class

_________________________________________________________________________________

Roy Rattan’s Underwater Basket Weaving Classes

_________________________________________________________________________________

Walley’s Wallpaper Remover

_________________________________________________________________________________

Peggy Pattersen’s Pig’s Milk Cheese

_________________________________________________________________________________

Teddy Tanglefoot’s Termite Terminator

_________________________________________________________________________________

Carrie Coldwell’s Bee Slapper

_________________________________________________________________________________

Monty’s Mountain Weather station

_________________________________________________________________________________

Hanks Crossington’s Motivational DVD

_________________________________________________________________________________

Sandi Sudbutt’s Corn Silk Tobacco Substitute

_________________________________________________________________________________

Bubba Bawl’s Cow Gas Compressor

_________________________________________________________________________________

Granny Garnett’s Asafetida Bag

_________________________________________________________________________________

Jimmy Riddle’s Whimmy Diddle

_________________________________________________________________________________

Yawn Watson’s Rare Plant Juices

_________________________________________________________________________________

Fatty Fresnell’s Fantastic Fishing Lures and Fish Knocker

_________________________________________________________________________________

Farkenhaus Muscadine Meat Products

_________________________________________________________________________________